John 6:1-21
Time after Pentecost ~ Lectionary 17
Signs are helpful, most of the time. They give directions so that we know what to expect. Some signs are very clear, like the one in a coffeehouse that reads, “Unaccompanied children will be given an espresso and a puppy.” Signs tell us which direction we need to go to get to our destination. Sometimes signs are not well understood. If you are directionally challenged, which I am, signs can be confusing. Have you been to where Route 60, Francis Street, Lafayette, and Page Street meet? Signs can be misinterpreted, even with a GPS.
A large crowd kept following Jesus because they saw the signs he had done. Our story is told in all four gospels for a total of six times. Each gospel writer has a different nuance. John’s gospel emphasizes Jesus’ “signs.” In other words, what Jesus does reveals something important not only about Jesus, but about God.
The crowds had been following Jesus for a long time, and he was tired. He took the disciples with him up to the mountain to find some quiet time. It was Passover, the commemoration of God’s freeing the Jewish people from bondage to the Egyptians. When Jesus looked up, he saw the crowds. So many people, each of them broken in different ways. They were following him because they placed their hope in Jesus because of the signs they had seen.
When Jesus saw them, the first thing he thinks of is feeding them. His disciples thought, “Yeah? How’s that going to work?” Philip couldn’t imagine paying for that much food. Andrew was slightly more helpful. “’There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish.’” Jesus told the disciples to have the people sit down where there was a “great deal of grass,” an abundance of grace, green pasture like that to which a good shepherd would lead his sheep.[1] It’s a sign that leads us Jesus as the good shepherd. Then Jesus took those five barley loaves and two fish, and gave thanks to God for them. In the blessing, Jesus had enough to give to everyone, enough so that they were satisfied. Not only did they eat their fill, there were leftovers.
Would we be satisfied, eating while sitting on the grass with 5,000 of our closest friends? Would a meal of fish and bread be enough? One of my favorite writers imagines how we might receive this meal today. “’We ate, but only the fish, not the bread. You know. Carbs,’ or maybe, ‘We ate, and looked around to see if we’d eaten more or less than the people sitting next to us.’”[2] Would we want to order it our way, or maybe even refuse it?
When we come to the Lord’s table, we receive Jesus in the bread and the wine, physical expressions of God’s great love for us. I wonder, –do we take the bread and wine, but not fully receive God’s abundant love and forgiveness that is in and under and through it? I wonder because I see us in the disciples. Jesus says to his disciples, “You feed the people.” They balked. “We can’t do this. We don’t have enough. We aren’t enough. We aren’t good enough. We aren’t faithful enough.”
Spiritual writer Henri Nouwen writes, “I hope you can somehow identify in yourself the temptation to self-rejection, whether it manifests itself in arrogance or in low self-esteem….Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the ‘Beloved.’”[3] The voice of God calling us “beloved” seems like a whisper drowning in the noise of the world. Our mistreatment of ourselves and others is evidence that we don’t always hear God say to us, “I love you.” How can we be bread for the world, how can we share the love of Christ to others, if we do not know or are not satisfied by God’s love for us? We need to be not only to be fed, but to be nourished. Joan Chittister, a Benedictine Sister and author writes, “Sooner or later, in desperation perhaps, people will be forced to go inside themselves to find the part of life and soul that are not being nourished and figure out why.”[4
Everything we think, say or do should reflect the truth of being loved by the God who created us. How do we close the gap between this reality of God’s deep love for us, and how we feel about ourselves? Nouwen believes that the first step is to realize that we are chosen by God, and the second is to realize others are, too. “When love chooses, it chooses with a perfect sensitivity for the unique beauty of the chosen one, and it chooses without making anyone else feel excluded….To be chosen does not mean that others are rejected.”[5]
This goes against what we have learned since we were babies. There are only so many cookies, and when I get two or three or four, someone else won’t get any. If you are chosen to be on a team, then I won’t be. When we realize our shortcomings, it is easy to try to beat out the other guy through any means necessary, or to simply give up trying. After all, there is only so much to go around, right?
Jesus teaches us in his feeding of thousands and thousands of people is that no one is excluded. Everyone is fed. Not only are you enough for God to love you, God has enough love for everyone. You can’t hoard love. You can, however, give it away.
Nouwen explains:
…Claiming your own blessedness always leads to a deep desire to bless others. The characteristic of the blessed ones is that, wherever they go, they always speak words of blessing. It is remarkable how easy it is to bless others, to speak good things to and about them, to call forth their beauty and truth, when you yourself are in touch with your own blessedness….No one is brought to life through curses, gossip, accusations or blaming….The voice that calls us the Beloved will give us words to bless others and reveal to them that they are no less blessed than we.[6]
There exists a kind of urban legend that you may have heard. A wise elder was teaching his grandson about life. “I am fighting a battle, and it is a terrible fight,” he told him. “Inside of me there is a wolf made up of anger, envy, greed, self-pity, resentment, and arrogant pride.” The boy looked stunned. “There is another wolf, a good one, made up of love, humility, kindness, truth and compassion. The same fight is going on inside of you. In fact, it is in everyone.” The grandson was quiet for a moment. “Which wolf will win?” the boy asked. His grandfather answered, “The one you feed.”
In our Lutheran language, we say that it is God who feeds us. If we cannot taste God’s love and forgiveness, if we cannot swallow it, that often means, as Nouwen says, “that God is calling us to a greater faithfulness. It is precisely in times of spiritual dryness that we must hold on to our spiritual discipline so that we can grow into new intimacy with God.”[7] Spiritual disciplines, such as confession, prayer, scripture reading, and listening for God help to nurture the fruits of the spirit, love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control.[8] Look for signs of God’s love. Engage in these practices daily. Every time you wash your face, as Luther said, remember your baptism. Remember God has claimed you as God’s beloved.
Jesus is the Bread of Life. Take and eat, swallow, savor it, all of it, just as Jesus offers. But more than that, let Jesus’ love and forgiveness consume you. Then go feed his sheep. There’s more than enough for everyone.
~Pastor Cheryl Ann Griffin
[1]See John, Chapter 10: 1-18.
[2]Thomas, Debie. “Enough and More.” Journey with Jesus. https://www.journeywithjesus.net/lectionary-essays/current-essay. Accessed July 23, 2018.
[3]Nouwen, Henri. Life of the Beloved. New York: Crossroad Publishing Company, 2000. p. 28.
[4]Chittister, Joan. Between the Dark and the Daylight. Image: New York, 2015. p.53.
[5]Ibid. p. 45
[6]Ibid. p. 67.
[7]Henri Nouwen Society Daily Meditation, Spiritual Dryness, on-line, July 29, 2018.
[8]Galatians 5:22-23.